Buckhorn
Comfort

Lady Bird Johnson
Fredericksburg

Scott Schreiner
Kerrville

On the 16th hole of the golf course, Tex had hit his ball into the woods. Bubba, his partner, had laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to hit his own ball into the woods, just a few yards beyond.

Tex hunted for a long time, getting angrier every minute. Finally, in a patch of pretty bluebonnets, he found his ball. Instead of just continuing the game, he took his club and thrashed every single bluebonnet in that patch. Suddenly, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those bluebonnets? Just for that, you won't be allowed to wear blue for the rest of your life. Better still, you won't have any blueberry jam for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you won't have any blue ANYTHING the rest of your life!" Then POOF!...she was gone. After Tex got hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, "Bubba! Bubba! Where are you?" Tex yelled, "I'm over here, in the pussywillows." Bubba screamed back, "Don't swing! For heaven's sake, DON'T SWING!!"

Three guys are golfing with the club pro. First guy tees off and hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and says, "What did I do wrong?" The pro says, "Loft." The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods. He asks the pro, "What did I do wrong?" The pro says "Loft." The third guy tees off and hits a slice into a pond. He asks the pro, "What did I do wrong?" The pro says "Loft." As they're walking to their balls, the first guy finally speaks up. He says to the pro, "The three of us hit completely different tee shots, and when we asked you what we did wrong you answered the same exact answer each time. What is loft?" The pro says, "Lack Of Fricking Talent."

18 REASONS WHY GOLF IS BETTER THAN SEX

18 - You don't have to sneak your golf magazines into the house.
17 - If you are having trouble with golf, it is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show you how to improve your technique.
16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything about golf.
15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you golfing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet when you become famous.
14 - Your golf partner won't keep asking questions about other partners you've golfed with.
13 - It's perfectly respectable to golf with a total stranger.
12 - When you see a really good golfer, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you golfing together.
11 - If your regular golf partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you golf with someone else.
10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you golf by yourself.
9 - When dealing with a golf pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy golf stuff.
7 - You can have a golf calendar on your wall at the office, tell golf jokes and invite coworkers to golf with you without getting sued for harassment.
6 - There is no such thing as a golf transmitted disease.
5 - If you want to watch golf on television, you don't have to subscribe to a premium cable channel.
4 - Nobody expects you to promise to golf with just one partner for the rest of your life.
3 - Nobody expects you to give up golfing if your partner loses interest in the game. 2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the enjoyment of golf.
1 - Your golf partner will never say, "What? We just golfed last week! Is that all you ever think about?"

A man was out playing solo one day when he ran into an old friend playing alone, alone except for his pet dog. They decided to play together, and on the third green, the friend with the dog made a birdie. All of a sudden, the dog stands up on its hind legs and begins to bark and clap. The man takes a bow and his friend says, " Wow, that's a neat trick he does!" The dog owner says, "That's nothing, you should see what he does when I make a double bogey." The friend asked, "What does he do?" "Cartwheels", was the response. "Really, how many?", the friend asked. "That depends." was the response. "Depends?...On what?" asked the confused friend. "How hard I kick him......"

When calling or e-mailing please mention you're interested in the golfing packages.

Phone - 830-997-0040
Toll Free - 888-991-6749
E-mail - stay@fredericksburg-lodging.com